One Time, I Fell in Love
by A-Crimson-Evil
Summary: A short Drabble by Jacob, Written only for my own personal pleasure. His feelings about Bella throughout the Twilight Series.


A one shot view of Jacob Black through New Moon and through and after Eclipse.

Stephanie Meyer owns the book, all the characters I used, and my soul.

I own nothing.

Lucky me.

_One time, I fell in love._

I was always told that love made everything beautiful. I mean, I always heard that, anyway. After all, if love wasn't just great, then who would even try? Still, I always heard it was just the best. Apparently, it made you feel complete, it made you _whole._

Then why do I feel so _broken_?

_One time, I fell in love._

She was the most beautiful creature who had ever walked the Earth, at least in my mind. Shorter than me, with these brown eyes that made you feel like she just knew _everything_. You could read her pretty easily, or at least _I_ thought I could. She had this brown hair I loved, that I wanted to play with forever. Everything about her, I _wanted_. Her personality, even her tendency for bad luck. I wanted to protect her from the world, and everyone in it.

But, then again, _he_ did too.

I knew it was useless. They were so in love, I couldn't possibly do anything to break them up, she'd be too unhappy. I mean, yeah, I was selfish, but I wasn't going to be an idiot.

Then, he left.

She was so _broken_, she was barely human. She clung to me; I was her world, and the only one who mattered. Was it wrong, then? Was it wrong that I didn't feel all that _bad_, being the only one left for her? Was it wrong that I liked being so needed? Was it wrong that I almost hoped he'd never come back, even though she was so… _unhappy_?

Then I changed. I couldn't even help it, I just did. Still, we worked through it. I got her into my world completely, and we were both happy. I was so in love with her, and I think the whole time, a part of her was in love with me. Still, I wasn't going to push it. After all, I had all the time in the world to make her realize how much she loved _me_.

_Yeah, Right._

He came _back_.

Suddenly, it was like I didn't _exist_ again. Well, I can't really say that. She wanted me to stay with her, but I wasn't going to be a third wheel, especially with that _bloodsucker_. No way, no how, never.

Still… I couldn't help it. I loved her too much. We continued to see each other, even though it broke me every time he touched her, every time she touched him. I loved her so much, it hurt. I felt like my heart was going to explode, because it was just so full of _her_. Everything I did, I did it for _her_. I lived for _her_.

I finally told her how I felt. And really, what had I expected? She still had _him_, and she didn't want me. She rejected me, but wanted to be friends. Actually, she needed to be friends. I'm ashamed, but almost… proud to say I took advantage of that. She wasn't going to get away from me so easily. I knew she loved me, I knew at least some _small part_, if not a bigger part, of her soul loved me. I just… I just thought it might be enough.

I mean, she loved me. She freaking _**LOVED**_ me! She loved me, and I loved _her_. I needed her like _air_. She was my addiction. I was like a poor man in the desert, looking for the water. I was the meth addict in streets, looking for his fix. I was someone choking, trying to get to their oxygen. I was obsessed, everything I did was about her, for her, her, her, her, her! _**Bella!**_

It just wasn't enough.

She left me, of course. I really couldn't have expected more. Still, it had been hard for her, I know. She'd loved me, Bella, she really had. Still, she loved _him_ more, and then… she left.

I can't remember the last time I cried so hard. I loved her, I loved her, and _**I loved her!**_ Why couldn't she love me like I loved her? The tears were rolling off my face, and I was running. All I could do was run, and run, and _run_. Then again, that's what they say about your problems, right? Can't run from 'em. It just doesn't work out.

Still, I'm going to run. There's nothing I can _do_ anymore. There's nothing left for me to say, to think, to do that I haven't already _tried_. I hate myself for it… but it's hopeless. Mine is a lost cause, but I'm still trying, and I hate myself for it. I hate loving her this much.

Bella, Bella, _Bella!_ **Why**, Bella? **Why** did you have to leave me? **Why** couldn't you stay with me? Why can I never be _**good enough for you**_?!?

**Why** can't I be like him?

When did things get so bad? I can't really remember the last time it was _me_ who made you smile. How long has it been, Bella, since I've _really_ been there for you? And why… why don't I feel bad about it? Why am I so bitter?

Why do I love you so much?

I'd have loved you _forever_,

Or maybe even more.

I'd have been with you,

To walk through Death's door.

I'd have run _10,000_ miles,

I'd have swum _1000_ feet.

I'd have done _whatever_ you asked,

Just for out two hearts to meet.

I tried _so hard_ to keep you,

I knew in my heart you couldn't be there.

I tried _so hard_ to get you to love me,

And you did, but you aren't here.

You're still with _him_ Bella,

Though I will admit,

He loves you so much,

And you only love me _a little bit_.

I don't think I'll ever understand,

The Love I feel for you.

But, I know I'll keep my love,

Till the day you say 'I do.'

I'm glad you can't see me,

Or share this awful pain.

You deserve some sunlight,

'Cause here, there's only rain.

So, I'll see you sometime.

I know you'd like to be a friend.

But, right now there's too much hurt,

And for now, it's just **the end**.

_One time, I fell in love._

It was with this _silly_ girl who knew how to make me feel like I was the only one in the _whole_ world who existed. Her smile could light up my entire day; her laugh was the only music I wanted to hear. We were meant to be, but we _never will be_. So many things _could've_ happened, and I'll admit to being a little bitter. Still, she got _her_ happy ending. I guess our whole story is just… _bittersweet_. Oh well, she deserved her… fairy tale. After all, I guess I was _never_ the most important person to her. I never really was first in her heart, not like she was in mine. After all, she had _him_. I should feel happy for her.

_One time, I fell in love._

I was always told that love made _everything_ beautiful. I mean, I always heard that, anyway. After all, if love wasn't just great, then who would even try? Still, I always heard it was just the best. Apparently, it made you feel complete, it made you _whole._

Then why do I feel so _broken_?


End file.
